First Lines

A sketch from A Bit of Fry & Laurie

Stephen addresses the camera.

Stephen Ladies and gentlemen, all the sketches we've done on this show have been sort of finished, in one way or another. They start, they go along a bit, then they stop. More than one critic has drawn the parallel between our sketches and a nylon zip. But what we've never done on this show are the sketches that simply start - they start, with one line, sometimes quite a promising line, and then go nowhere at all. We'd like to show you some of them now, just so that you can get a glimpse of what might have been ... Cut to: A traditional sketch shop. Stephen is behind the counter. Hugh enters frequently.

Hugh Has Deborah Munnings arrived yet? Cut to:

Hugh I'd like to apply for the Royal Regiment of Homosexuals. Cut to:

Stephen Ah Dermot, there you are. I was sorting through some things in the attic this morning, and I came across your old legs ... Cut to:

Hugh I'd like to open a Homosexual Bank account, please. Cut to:

Stephen Your grandfather's a bit smelly, isn't he?

Hugh Yeah, well that's death for you. Cut to:

Hugh (Singing) "When somebody loves you, It's no good unless they love you" Cut to:

Stephen Has Deborah Munnings arrived yet? Cut to:

Hugh I'd like to apply to become a homosexual. etc ...

Vox Pop

Hugh And then my bereavement counsellor died. I didn't know who to turn to.

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