Stephen Ladies and gentlemen, I wonder how many of you know what this is? Well most of you will know that it's a brain, a human brain, but can you guess whose brain it is? I should tell you first of all that for some time I've enjoyed a bit of a reputation as a practical joker, you see, and what I've done is this. While Hugh was asleep in his dressing room, I crept in and very carefully removed his brain, being sure not to wake him up. This is Hugh's brain. He'll be coming on in a second, let's see if he's noticed anything's amiss ... Enter Hugh, laughing cheerfully.
Stephen Hello, Hugh. What have you been up to?
Hugh I've just been watching that Noel Edmonds show, it's so funny. Just brilliant. Completely brilliant.
Stephen Ha. Are you feeling alright?
Hugh Yeah, fine, fine.
Hugh And then I saw a bit of an interview with Kenneth Baker. That man is fantastic.
Stephen Do you think so?
Hugh Oh, he's wonderful. He's just what this country needs. He's firm, courageous, and his views on education are so enlightened, so sophisticated, so utterly enthralling. Well, he's an enthralling person, of course.
Stephen (To audience) It's great, isn't it? We can see the difference, but poor old Hugh hasn't noticed a thing. (To Hugh) D'you recognise this?
Hugh It's a cauliflower.
Stephen Hahaha. A cauliflower. Hasn't he been a sport, ladies and gentlemen? So what are you going to do now?
Hugh I thought I'd write a letter to "Points of View".
Stephen Dear oh dear oh dear. Perhaps I've gone a bit far.
Stephen Well I'll tell you this for free ... (Pause)
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