A sketch from A Bit of Fry & Laurie

Hugh addresses the camera:

Hugh Hm. Yes. Jobs. I've had a variety of jobs since I moved to London. I started off, let me see, running a mobile twenty-four hour discotheque, for the St John's Ambulance Brigade, for when they had those big functions, and they needed a discotheque standing by, just in case. And then after that I set up as a freelance nudist, doing odds and ends, weddings, supermarket openings, that sort of thing. A lot of work for Securicor, funnily enough. But then there was the great nudism crash of '87 and I got in with a removals firm in Notting Hill, doing a job for an Iraqi diplomat called Nigel Havers. You can imagine the stick he used to get, having the same name as Nigel Havers. But he was a nice chap, and we moved house for him. He wanted his house moved to the end of the street, because he said it was easier to park there. Funny things was that by the time we'd finished, and put the last slate back on the roof, an Austin 1100 went and parked in the space in front of the house, so we had to move it all back again. Happy days, though. And then, let's see, I had a couple of months in the white slave trade - on the selling side, I should point out. Just on the telephone, really, it was mostly mail order work, pretty dull, but it did get me into my next job which was director of pharmaceutical research at ICI. God knows how I got it, because I don't know the first thing about drugs, although I was pretty good in the interview. But they rumbled me eventually. All I could think of to say was that the pills ought to be oblong instead of round, and after a couple of years of that they threw me out. Then I thought I needed a break so I joined a group of travelling loss adjusters. They used to tour round the seaside resorts every summer putting on loss adjusting shows for children. That was very good fun, although I used to drink far too much. God those loss adjusters can stick it away. Unbelievable. Then I was Princess Anne's assistant for a while, but I chucked that in because it was obvious they were never going to make me Princess Anne, no matter how well I did the job. It was a question of who you were, rather than how well you did, you know, and I hate that. After that, let me see ... etc

Vox Pop

Stephen So I said "Why don't you shove it where the sun don't shine" and so he did. He put it in the cupboard under the stairs and it hasn't been mentioned since.

Download Jobs as XML