Technophobia

A sketch from A Bit of Fry & Laurie

Stephen Did you ... I don't know, you may have done ... last night ... see that Horizon ... er ... documentary, is it? Is that what they're called?

Hugh Horizon documentary, yes, I think so. You mean, on the er ...

Stephen Television.

Hugh Television, that's right.

Stephen Yes, television. I think it's a ... documentary. Did you see it?

Hugh No. I didn't, I'm afraid. I was out last night.

Stephen Oh dear, you didn't record it?

Hugh Record it?

Stephen Yes.

Hugh Oh I see what you mean. No, we've got one of those er ...

Stephen Recording ...

Hugh Yes, those machines that record ...

Stephen Recording machines ...

Hugh Is that what they're ...?

Stephen I think so.

Hugh Yes, well, we've got one, but I'm afraid neither of us knows how to use it.

Stephen Oh how terribly amusing.

Hugh It is, isn't it? Amusing and eccentric.

Stephen Terribly.

Hugh Yes I'm just hopeless with anything mechanical ...

Stephen Oh me too. My wife gave me an electric toothbrush last Christmas, and I just can't work it out at all ...

Hugh Oh how amusing and eccentric.

Stephen Isn't it? Isn't it incredibly amusing and eccentric?

Hugh I can't even work an ordinary toothbrush.

Stephen Can't you?

Hugh No, I keep putting the wrong end into my mouth, and the toothpaste up my nose ... I'm hopeless.

Stephen Me too.

Hugh My wife looks at me with one of those looks of hers that seems to say er ...

Stephen How amusing and eccentric?

Hugh Exactly.

Stephen Yes, there's another one of those documentaries on tonight, apparently.

Hugh Really? Oh well I might watch it, then. What time, do you know?

Stephen Half past eight, I believe.

Hugh Half past eight, yes, that's when the big hand is pointing ...

Stephen Oh don't ask me. I can't deal with these confounded watch things ...

Hugh No, neither can I. My daughter gave this to me, and I can't get the hang of it ...

Stephen No, I'm much too amusing and eccentric to ... you know ...

Hugh Me too. Far too amusing and eccentric.

Stephen But I think it's at half past eight. It should be in the paper, anyway.

Hugh Newspapers? Haha ...

Stephen Hahaha ... me too.

Hugh Never know which way to turn the blasted page.

Stephen Get it upside down ...

Hugh All over the place ...

Stephen I always give the paper to our young son to read, he's the only one who can work the confounded thing.

Hugh Honestly. We are amusing and eccentric aren't we?

Stephen Yes. Bell rings.

Hugh Hello!

Stephen Best be in the House for that debate on the electricity privatisation.

Hugh Absolutely.

Vox Pop

Stephen I suppose if I'm honest I use my penis as a sort of car substitute.

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