The "Burt"

A sketch from A Bit of Fry & Laurie

Stephen is interviewing Hugh, who is a croaky-voiced Richard Harris, stroke Peter O'Toole stroke Oliver Reed stroke my thigh sort of wildman actor.

Stephen Did you actually know Burton personally?

Hugh Oh yes. Well, in as much as anyone really "knew" Burton. Oh yes, I was very fond of "the Burt". He was such a character, you see.

Stephen And of course Elizabeth Taylor ...

Hugh Well now Liz was a joy, a dream, a treasure. If you could have seen them together ....

Stephen Did you ever ...

Hugh Oh yes. Many times. In fact I was best man at their wedding.

Stephen Which one?

Hugh All of them.

Stephen Now Gielgud and Richardson. You must have ...

Hugh They never married of course.

Stephen No, but you knew them?

Hugh Oh good Lord yes. Real characters. "The Giel" and "the Rich" used to ask me for advice, constantly. They used to call me their "guru".

Stephen Now around that time, you must have met ...

Hugh Just about everyone, really.

Stephen Good heavens.

Hugh Oh yes. I knew everyone, and everyone knew me.

Stephen That's extraordinary.

Hugh I really was very lucky.

Stephen Mmm. What did you think of Simon Condywust?

Hugh Simon ...

Stephen Condywust. Didn't you know him?

Hugh Oh yes, I knew him. Yes, everyone knew "the Condy". Yes. Amazing character, he really was.

Stephen Right. What about Margaret Limpwippydippydodo?

Hugh Mm. Now, Margaret was fascinating. I was fascinated by her for many, many years.

Stephen Was she an amazing character?

Hugh No. She was a woman. The men were characters. Margaret was fascinating.

Stephen I see. Colin FenchmoseythinkIhave?

Hugh What a character.

Stephen Fenella Hahahahahaspuit?

Hugh Fascinating woman.

Stephen Peter Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Hugh Now there was a character. They broke the mould after they made Peter.

Stephen Angela BrokethemouldaftertheymadePeter?

Hugh Delightful woman.

Stephen Cliff Richard?

Hugh You've just made that up.

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