Critics Four

Hugh Simon Clituris, you saw that. What do you think was happening there?

Stephen Well you see, again this was a rather trite, rather predictable - I don't know what the word is I'd use to describe it really.

Hugh Squib?

Stephen If you like. A sort of cod spoof guying take-off pastiche parody.

Hugh What did you make of the two central performances?

Stephen I'd have welcomed them.

Hugh (Laughing at this sally) Right, right. I liked the clever and original use of words.

Stephen Oh thank you very much.

Hugh Not at all. Your clever and original use of words has been collected into book form recently, I understand.

Stephen That's right.

Hugh Well received?

Stephen Well, you know what critics are like. What do they know about the work we do?

Hugh Quite so, Quitely so. Quitely so-ington. But to return to that spoof cod squib guying of conventions. My main worry was that it told us nothing of the relationship between the two central characters.

Stephen That's right. Some people may have been mildly amused by this kind of grotesquerie, but where were the truths about relationships in England today, now, this evening, this afternoon?

Hugh You certainly couldn't see them from where I was lying.

Stephen No, I hated it.

Hugh That's right. Two out of ten for trying, then.

Stephen It just wasn't your cup of tea?

Hugh No. (Picking up teacup) This is my cup of tea, in fact.

Stephen Actually, I think you'll find it's mine.