Stephen Ladies and gentlemen, all the sketches we've done on this show have been sort of finished, in one way or another. They start, they go along a bit, then they stop. More than one critic has drawn the parallel between our sketches and a nylon zip. But what we've never done on this show are the sketches that simply start - they start, with one line, sometimes quite a promising line, and then go nowhere at all. We'd like to show you some of them now, just so that you can get a glimpse of what might have been ... Cut to: A traditional sketch shop. Stephen is behind the counter. Hugh enters frequently.
Hugh Has Deborah Munnings arrived yet? Cut to:
Hugh I'd like to apply for the Royal Regiment of Homosexuals. Cut to:
Stephen Ah Dermot, there you are. I was sorting through some things in the attic this morning, and I came across your old legs ... Cut to:
Hugh I'd like to open a Homosexual Bank account, please. Cut to:
Stephen Your grandfather's a bit smelly, isn't he?
Hugh Yeah, well that's death for you. Cut to:
Hugh (Singing) "When somebody loves you, It's no good unless they love you" Cut to:
Stephen Has Deborah Munnings arrived yet? Cut to:
Hugh I'd like to apply to become a homosexual. etc ...
Hugh And then my bereavement counsellor died. I didn't know who to turn to.
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