Hugh Father?
Stephen Yes?
Hugh I've been thinking.
Stephen Oh yes.
Hugh You know how you said that Mother had gone to live with Jesus?
Stephen Yes?
Hugh Well I don't think that can be right.
Stephen Oh?
Hugh Yes. Because I saw Mother last night.
Stephen You what?
Hugh Yes. In Asda. And the man she was with was nothing like Jesus at all.
Stephen (Putting down newspaper) Look, Jeremy, I think it may well be time that you and I had a little talk.
Hugh Aren't we having one now, then?
Stephen Well, yes, as a matter of fact we are. That's quite right. Good. How old are you now Jeremy?
Hugh Thirty-one.
Stephen Thirty-one, eh? When I first told you that Mummy had gone to live with Jesus, how old were you then, eh?
Hugh Twenty-seven.
Stephen Yes, well, goodness me, there we are you see. Twenty-seven. Time flies doesn't it? My goodness word me yes. There you are. Well now. When I told you what I told you it was a little bit of a fib.
Hugh Oh.
Stephen Yes.
Hugh You told me a fib.
Stephen Well it was to spare you hurt, son. You see Mummy didn't go to live with Jesus at all.
Hugh As I rightly guessed.
Stephen As you rightly guessed. What really happened was that Mummy died.
Hugh Died?
Stephen Yes. She died.
Hugh But I saw her in Asda.
Stephen No, you saw someone who looked a bit like her.
Hugh Oh.
Stephen You had to know sooner or later.
Hugh How did ... how did Mummy die then?
Stephen It's a sad story but you should know.
Hugh Yes?
Stephen I killed her.
Hugh You killed her?
Stephen Yes.
Hugh Why?
Stephen Why? Because she was screwing everything in trousers.
Hugh Oh.
Stephen (Returning to paper) You see?
Hugh Yes, Daddy.