Stephen (Kissing the guests) Tom, Irene, welcome!
Hugh Dick, thanks for inviting us.
Selina First all-naked party I've been to for years.
Stephen Yes, well we thought it would make a change.
Hugh Saves the problem of having to decide what to wear anyway!
Stephen Right! They find this really amusing.
Selina Nice carpet ... is it a Tideyman's?
Stephen Now how on earth could you tell that?
Hugh Well I suppose it was the modern, up-to-the- minute design wasn't it darling?
Selina And the practicability.
Stephen I'm surprised by how large your breasts are, Irene.
Selina Why thank you. And I must say you have a very amusingly shaped ...
Hugh (Interrupting) ... Dick, I believe I'm also right in saying that it repels stains and resists spills.
Stephen The carpet, I hope you mean! Yes, that's right. Nothing soaks into a Tideyman's.
Hugh I expect we'll be putting that to the test before the evening's out.
Stephen Rather. Let me stroke your thighs, Irene.
Selina Thanks. I have so say it's a great colour. What would you call this colour, exactly?
Stephen Well, flesh-coloured, I suppose.
Hugh I think Irene was referring to the Tideyman's actually.
Stephen Oh right.
Selina No I wasn't.
Selina It's a sort of purple, really, isn't it?
Hugh But come to think of it, what made you choose this colour of Tideyman's?
Stephen Well it was quite difficult at first, because they had so many to choose from, but with the aid of their highly trained sales staff we finally came to the right decision.
Hugh Seems to me you made the right decision right at the beginning.
Hugh By going to Tideyman's in the first place.
Stephen Right! Dip?
Selina Yes, it does rather, doesn't it.
Hugh We took the caravan down to Dorset this year, and pushed it over a cliff.
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