Naked

A sketch from A Bit of Fry & Laurie

Stephen and Hugh are in a black limbo area. Hugh is on a monitor, Stephen is really there.

Stephen I'm afraid that we've now got to ask you to do some work, and help us a bit, ladies and gentlemen. Use your imagination, as it were.

Hugh That's right. For the purposes of this next sketch, ladies and gentlemen, we want you all to imagine that we're both naked.

Stephen Yes. I'm sorry to have to ask this of you. Speaking for ourselves, Hugh and I really wanted to go the whole way, and actually be naked for this one but, unfortunately, we ran out of money.

Hugh That's right. The budget simply wouldn't stretch that far, I'm afraid. Never mind.

Stephen Now to help you build up the picture in your minds, I should tell you that the sketch is set in a church.

Hugh That's right. Stephen will be playing a Bishop.

Stephen And Hugh will be playing the organ.

Hugh The organist.

Stephen What?

Hugh I'll be playing the organist.

Stephen The organist. Yes. But you'll be playing the organ as well?

Hugh No. No. That's the whole point. I play an organist who can't play the organ.

Stephen Oh God I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Of course. Have I ruined it?

Hugh Yes, frankly.

Stephen I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

Hugh You'd better all stop imagining that we're naked.

Stephen Yes stop. Hold it. It's all my fault. I'm sorry. Damn.

Vox Pop

Stephen A men enters a bar. It was an iron bar. No, goes into a bar. Walks into a bar, that's it. A man walks into a pub, it was an iron pub. Henry Cooper used to do that one. Tommy. Tommy Bar used to walk into that one. Oh no, that can't be right.

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